Sunday, 24 October 2010

zombies pt II: the inclusive and 'affirming' version

Public displays of mockery leave zombies' dignity in shambles

Well, it seems a small comment on facebook concerning zombies has ended up with a rather loooong thread.
I was challenged, quite rightly to come up with an inclusive and affirming version by a fellow ministry trainee last night [Saturday], to keep in line with our hymnbook CH4.  DMc observed:
'I think you should be making more effort to love the zombies. You're neo-imperialist religious zealotry makes for a rousing chorus but for CH4 purposes you may also need a more inclusive, Jesus would have dined with zombies refrain. A shine zombies shine, if you will.'
Of course, DMc is perfectly correct, and so, if you will, my humble attempt below:

[to the tune, naturally, of 'Shine Jesus Shine' -tried uploading a midi file, but no luck pardners] 

Zombies like to chase folk without warning,   
They find it fun to eat brainz in the morning.
Don't judge them all by their odd behaviour
...Even a zombie's in need of a saviour...
'dine with me...
dine... with ... me'

Dine, Jesus dine,
Even tho' it could be quite gory
Hey, Jesus, say,
They can sing in't choir.
O, zombies oh!
God's beloved undead creation,
We're not perturbed:
Lord the undead have rights.

1 comment:

spotthegerbil said...

I scored 87%, let down by the fact that I wouldn't be running too fast. The following was shared with my work colleagues regarding how I would save myself from the Zombies.

"Stay out of cellars.

Canned food will keep for years. Remember, water, food, shelter.

Get yourself an easily defended structure for your survivors. Good examples are Fort George, Stirling Castle, Doune Castle. If there is only yourself, an Observer Corps post could also be used

A 110 Land Rover can be easily armoured and will run on diesel, Jet A1 or vegetable oil with a bit of persuasion. Steal the 110 and fuel from an airport.

While atthe airport, find a small aircraft, turn the master avionics switch to on, tune the radio to 121.5mhz, press the PTT or push to talk switch and use the headset to let the world know you are alive. If there is an AWACS aircraft from a friendly, uninfected power listenting, or a civil airliner listening on "guard", they will hear you. The flight manual with the radio instructions may be in the aircraft. If the aircraft has an life raft, take and set off the locator beacon

An evil mind can turn a branch of a DIY store into a frightening arsenal.

Don't try making explosives. You will fail.

Stay out of the way. Await rescue

If I see you, I will assume you are infected. I will be armed"

Remember, those that want to adopt an inclusive and affirming ministry will be the first to get eaten!

WWJD? (Mark 5 1-20) He would drive out the demons, requiring 2000 pigs per person to absorb the demons. Said pigs get drowned afterwards. Hmmm. So the good news is that we get left with saved zombies. The bad news is that it's going to be a long time before I can get a bacon roll.

Now get back to your thesis or I'll send the zombies round to steal your chocolate! ;-)