earth's crammed with heaven...

Today I just feel... blessed.
In the midst of dissertation madness,
in the midst of locum at 'leafy parish in the burgh',
in the midst of all the trillion little pressure points,
and times when I am just so tired I'm incapable of speech...
In the midst of it all, sometimes I am prompted to lift my face up from out of the books,
away from orders of service and leafing through hymnaries,
away from all the many things bouncing up and down
that shout and clamour for attention.
When I remember to do it - to look up and around and outwards -
an overwhelming feeling of gratitude settles in and through and about me
and that old, very old hymn comes to mind...
I find myself humming 'it is well, it is well with my soul.'
Today,
this afternoon
this moment...
it truly is well with my soul and I am thankful.

Celebration, contagion, communion: as easy as 1-2-3

Over at Wanderer's blog, the tricky combination of swine flu, contagion and communion is being considered. Think I've found the answer. Check out:
the Celebration Cup! It's as easy as 1-2-3!

Am very pleased that 'no refrigeration is necessary', although slightly concerned that there's 'no special preparation required':
does this mean we bin individual examination of conscience prior to receiving?
Alternatively, do we just bin the liturgy?

the welcoming church 2: at least leave a quid at the door

aaaand breathe...

Gosh, busy, busy, busy....
Am beginning to really feel under pressure of the looming dissertation deadline now. Why else would I be blogging!!?
Thinking very much of the Hebrews text in the pic. Keep focused. Just write the thing. Do it.
Now, can I write 8 000 words this week?! We'll soon know.
12 000 written, 13 000 to go.
And so let the writing commence and cast away the inner perfectionist which paralyses! Aaaand breathe.
The buskers today are not pipers, but a guitar/ fiddle combo - currently playing 'Blue Moon'. It's working - the mellowness is setting in :)

where have all the children gone?

The ones who attend 'leafy parish in the burgh' are on holiday - some lucky ones are off to Disneyland, Paris. I wouldn't mind that right about now :)
But it raises that old chestnut about the dilemma of having a childrens/ all-age section in a service when the service has no children - or the two remaining children are teenies and very, very shy.

Although the sermon and prayers are all done for tomorrow - huzzah the small matter of the all-age part of the service remains. What to do in the absence of children?

It's a question that's often popped into my tiny mind when I've had to face a similar situation. Usually this slot becomes the 'trailer' for the sermon but surely there are other ways to use this time in a more creative/ centering way? As the overall service is a quieter, reflective one, in contrast to last weeks 'noisy church', I am very tempted just to ask folk to 'be', to sit and relax quietly in the moment and gather themselves up from the week that's gone before.

But, yup, as I said, the whole thing gets me wondering about this part of the liturgy. How to ensure it is both distinct in its own self and yet part of the whole... and also not done for the sake of just being done 'cos it's what we always do?

Mind, the 'where have all the children [insert 'young people' here] gone?' is a catch-cry in parishes, presbyteries and at General Assembly. It makes me wonder a bit. I worry a wee bit about a tendency in the church towards a sort of young person idolatry. Or of young people being seen as a sort of holy grail solution to all the church's problems: 'if we had young people we'd be growing, not declining,' is the possible thought at the back of that.
A fear. Desperation?
Sometimes I think we forget about all the children and young people who comprise the groups who use the halls and church spaces during the week... they don't come on Sunday but they are there during the week. And I'm reminded of a comment a friend of mine made - who fits into the 'young person category' according to church definitions - about being a little tired of being asked to do stuff/ be on committees, etc. purely for the underlying reason that she fits the category and so the church can be seen to be supporting young people. Interesting catch-22, huh?

I'm not so worried about children and young people as I am with the thought that there are actually a couple of generations missing in the church. And also that there appears to be a growing age apartheid: there are churches full of young people... but no other age groups. And there are churches filled with quite elderly folk... and no young folk.
I'm less concerned with the need for young people and more concerned for a more integrated age approach to worship that goes beyong 'dumbing down' all-age worship just because we don't seem to be able to acknowledge very well the spirituality within children... and that they have to have absolutely everything explained: kids can deal with mystery and we do them a disservice if we think otherwise.
It drives me slightly nuts that when we use the term 'all-age' what tends to happen sometimes is noisy, busy, bouncy and lacking in substance. Don't think it is particularly satisfying to younger folks or the grown-ups. But it's easy to rant: what's a way of doing something that's more constructive? Unlike clothes, and even then it doesn't quite work, one size does not fit all liturgies.... Hmmm.

And I digress... I must go and do this all-age address!!

he has broken down every wall

Hmmm, thinking about Sunday and am going for the Ephesians passage 2: 11-22 and Ps 23.
Iv'e been thinking about walls... no big thoughts, really.
A picture that has been in my mind this week is one of prayers tucked into the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. And then thinking of the huge wall Israel has constructed to effectively keep out Palestinians. And then my mind has wandered to other walls: Berlin Wall; the walls of the Warsaw ghetto; the Great Wall of China; the boundary fence between the USA and Mexico... and even, oddly, Australia's rabbit-proof fence - and thinking of the movie of the same name about indigenous kids being taken from their parents to be raised in white families. Racial walls, faith walls, political/ ideological walls... concrete, limestone, barbed wire, brick... And when we wall people out, we wall ourselves in - hold ourselves captive to our fears both real and imagined.
He is our peace, who has broken down every wall...
I suspect I should get to writing the sermon for Sunday!

Friday five: games

Jan over at revgals has issued the challenge of games...

1. Childhood games?
Dune races: generally involved grabbing large squares of cardboard to slide down the sand dunes. Sadly also involved loss of one tooth two days before my 10th birthday, when I ended up colliding with a hidden pipe at the bottom of the dunes. I thought it gave me a somewhat rakish air, and the dentist was pleased. Oddly, mother was not.

2. Favorite and/or most hated board games?
Scrabble!!!!! Oh, and 'Mousetrap'. Am developing a church history board game currently called 'Indulgence' - chocolate is involved, but not in the Lent section, of course.

3. Card games?
Kim's game; rummy

4. Travel/car games?
'yellow car' - has become a favourite the last couple of years. Involves punching someone [gently of course] anytime a yellow car is spotted. Other assorted vehicles can be included, with appropriate physical gestures....

5. Adult pastimes that are not video games?
drinking, gambling, fornicat... er, no....
There's always the 'Dictionary' game. I know, I know, sounds dull, but it's not if your friends are ingenious and inclined to evil. Involves [taking turns] someone finding a word in the dictionary: at this point everyone has to be honest and tell if they know the word. When a word is found that nobody knows, the players create definitions and the one with the dictionary also writes down the meaning. All bits of paper go into a hat, mixed about and then the player who has the dictionary begins to read out the various definitions. Points are scored when a player's definition is chosen by any or all of the other players - a point per person// or if nobody chooses the correct definition, the player who started the round gets a point per player. The next round commences with the dictionary being passed to the person on the right of the previous holder of the dictionary. When everyone's had a turn with the dictionary, the points are totted up and the game ends - or it can continue as long as you like. You don't have to try to come up with a definition that's correct... :)
As I said, sounds dull - but my ribs still ache from laughing from a game played 10 years ago, part of which involved 'small damp puppies' and 'telepathic seals': I was on dictionary duty - had nipped to the loo briefly... they all conspired together to write the most ludicrous definitions imaginable. As I began to read out the definitions one by one... my composure got lost in hysteria.

Bonus: Any ideas for family vacations or gatherings?
Avoid them? Wear protective kevlar armour?

'Dying church - living God'

Came across the following story via the Midrash group, out of: 'Dying Church - Living God', by Chuck Meyers pg. 37-39

Sometime in the early 1970s, the president of AT&T called all his managers into a large room for an emergency meeting. Attendance was mandatory. Speculation ran high as to what announcement would be made. Perhaps a breakthrough in technology. Perhaps a downsizing. Perhaps.
They could tell by the grim look on his face that something extremely serious was about to be revealed.

When all were seated, the president went to the podium and said, "The telephone as you know it no longer exists." Muffled giggles rippled through the room. What game was this? They all knew he was wrong. They had used phones that morning. He continued: "Anyone who does not believe that state-ment can leave this room right now and pick up your final paycheck on the way out of the building." Sober silence prevailed. No one left. They all just stared. "Your job today is to invent one."

He broke the group up into small teams and they spent the rest of the time coming up with a new phone. Some people wanted one with no cord...... in the car, or to carry around.... to know when another call was coming in.......to be able to forward calls to another number, to see the person on the other end, to send other kinds of messages on it. About 60 items that distinguished the telephone they invented. Many are now the features that we take for granted, from call-waiting to individual digital phones, and the list has not yet completed.

In the same manner, at the beginning of the third millennium, we come to church one morning for the Sunday service and, much to our shocked dismay, we find a vacant lot with a little note tacked on a piece of tattered plaster out front. It is written in Hebrew and it is the same note left on every vacant lot of every former church building in the world, from cathedral to clapboard.
Translated, it says,
"The church you have always known no longer exists; it is gone - walls, pews, altar, and assumptions."
The tomb is empty.
"How can this be?" we ask in abject puzzlement.
In the background, we hear God's laughter saying,
"Given the world the way it is, given the devastating problems and the incredible possibilities opening up for the first time in history, given what you now know to be true in the world, the real question is, 'How can it NOT be?' "
Then God looks us right in the eye and says,
"Make a new one."

Friday Five: exercise

Over at the RevGals site it's 'Friday Five'. On exercise. Yup. Exercise and me = oxymoron. No matter... here are my answers:


1. What was your favorite sport or outdoor activity as a child?
Tennis. No, swimming. No! Sailing. Nooooo, no, no - tennis!!

2. P.E. class--heaven or the other place?
There is a special place in Hell reserved for sadistic P.E. teachers.

3. What is your favorite form of exercise now?
Running with the phone out of the post-grad labs, for the sheer comedy value. Walking on the beach at the end of the street.

4. Do you like to work out solo or with a partner?
Well, if it's a phone conversation, that would need two of us at least :) On the beach, solo or with pals.

5. Inside or outside?
Hey, mobile phones - I'm flexible!!! Oh, beach... um, I suspect outside for that one.

Bonus: Post a poem, scripture passage, quotation, song, etc. regarding the body or exercise.
Weightlifiting verse of the Bible: Galatians 6: 2 Bear one another's burdens...

the power of love is fine, but diet coke is awesome

The old song 'Love changes everything' is sitting in my head at the moment. This is all very well and good - apart from the momentous cheesiness of the song. But actually, while love may change everything, diet coke is pretty awesome too.
Drowning not so much in the sea of love, but in the sea of excommunication despair, I realised that falling asleep over my computer was a bad idea. In some ways, so is caffeine over-consumption, but nevertheless, after gallons of the stuff today, I have written 2 000 words of a draft introduction to this wretched dissertation.
It helps cheer me up quite a bit, knowing that one part, at least, of this thing is pretty much done and ready to be doctored as needed.
I am choosing to ignore Section Two: my textual analysis section of the diss. tomorrow - bogged down at 9 000 words and losing the will to live - 5 000 words to go over there. Will move to Section One instead and play with a little ecclesiology of discipline instead - ever so much more cheering.
Almost halfway to the 25 000...
Now, as long as nobody else decides to die in the parish [body count 5 in 11 days - but only doing 3 of the funerals] there may even be the possibility of submitting this darned albatross around my neck!

Not a tame lion...

One of the Narnian mantras: Aslan is not a tame lion.


I've been having a wee think about Sunday worship - boy, it comes around quickly! This week we're focusing on 2 Samuel 6: 1-5, 12b-19, in which a great big praise party is happening, and David dances as if nobody's watching: unselfconsciously, joyfully, exuberantly. He is pretty much naked before God, allowing himself to be vulnerable and exposed not just in the physical sense... also exposed to potential ridicule. But there's such delight in his dancing and celebrating and underpinning it, a sense of awe of the untamed, uncontainable God he worships.It's made me think about Annie Dillard once more and her great observation about how we as Christians are nearly too blase in the way we invoke the Holy One.

Are we guilty of trying to tame God?

Have we turned God into a routine rather than Ground of our Being?
Do we get a little caught up in our focus with how we might appear, rather than being whole-heartedly open to the wild and exuberant Creator of the Universe?
Of course, there are certain societal and legal niceties we have to take into consideration: I don't think I'm quite advocating that we all get naked in church!!! Plus, in Scotland, it's just too cold anyway.... But maybe, our nakedness can be in the shape of vulnerable openness to God - expectation that the wild God who is always with us may want to dance with us.
Are our dance cards already filled, or have we left them empty, waiting with eager anticipation to dance with God?

Locum, week one: and all manner of things shall be well

Week One of locum in 'leafy parish in the burgh' and an amazing learning curve, particularly concerning time management and prioritising... and the bemused realisation that although I may have had my week planned one way, all sorts of unexpected things pop up and throw you a curve ball. If there are two words to describe where I'm at right now, I think they'd be 'blossom' and 'flourish'. This is a good, deep, awesome experience and a great 'taster' for the future - I'm really thankful for the opportunity, and also for the trust that minister of 'leafy parish in the burgh' has that I can do the job. She is a brilliant encourager and mentor.

This week included my first 'solo' bereavement visit and then funeral, as well as a 'solo' hospital visit and being texted for relationship advice. I like the variety and some of the more quirky aspects of this ministry lark. I've also realised that in a full-time capacity - if I get through all the training/ conferences and such like - it would be very easy to have all available waking hours consumed by the job, and that I will need to be vigilant about making sure I keep a healthy balance between work and time out. A good lesson to learn.

Worship tomorrow and a hospital visit I hope. And then two funerals to do next week.

Going on the funeral visits has, I don't know, been a good reminder I think: what a rare privilege to be allowed to be a part of people's lives when they are at their most raw and vulnerable... and that, in some small way, we can make a difference... and that ministry is more than 'social work'. We're allowed to ask the deep questions... or get asked them, which is a bit daunting... and to hear people's stories - and people are just so amazingly interesting.

Interesting how prayer has increased exponentionally to learning curve: on Thursday afternoon, with 5 minutes to go before my first ever funeral, I was in the vestry praying very, very hard... pretty much a one-word prayer 'HELP!'

Weird, in just this very short time span of a week, my sense of 'this is the right place to be/ this is the right path to persue' has been confirmed yet again. Lots of thoughts in process, and it's all good, all very good... and God is good. Feel very much reminded of Julian 'all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. And I am content to trust that right now.

The dissertation, however, could be better - remember: time management!!! :)

Ordinary 14 Yr B: Beware: tall poppy syndrome

Sermon-in-potentia for Sunday 5th July, focusing on Mark 6:1-13
Consider the poppies of the field …

Their seeds stir beneath the wasted soil,

Moving, reaching upwards, breaking out and rising

Rising towards the sun.

Consider the poppies of the field,

scattered red amidst the swaying, golden barley,

Tall, red, bold: prophets -

Singing songs of praise to the Holy One.

Tall poppies. 

It was one of those amazing purple-golden hazy late summer evenings. I was on the bus, taking the very winding way home… and coming around a corner, a field filled with gently rippling barley – more shimmering gold on that already golden evening… and scattered throughout, scarlet splashes – patches of glorious red poppies. Breathtaking. The landscape like a prophet telling forth God’s wonders. The bus stopped a moment to let me bask in the beauty of it all – well, to pick up a couple of passengers, but why let facts stand in the why of a nice story?! We drove on. The golden barley and the red poppies fell away from sight. I eventually got home… still in a bit of a wonder about the interplay of colour and landscape and light and...sense of connection and yet mystery of God. One of those ‘gosh’ moments –a ‘numinous’ moment.... It was years ago, and the picture stays with me still.

Tall poppies. One of those terms we Aussies use to describe people who have been extremely successful in some way: fame, fortune or however success might be measured at any particular moment. Tall poppies: people outstanding in their field, as it were. Every now and then, someone seems to come from out of nowhere – from humble beginnings, or difficult background – they have a particular talent or idea, almost the air of the prophet about them – though not always proclaiming the glory of God… people get wind of the story and it takes off. The ‘underdog’ is cheered on… until, having succeeded… somehow, the crowds say: ‘enough. You’re getting too big for your boots. Who do you think you are, anyway? We knew you when you were just a snotty-nosed kid running about in nappies.’

Tall poppies. One thing common to both the poppies in the field and the poppies who are people… is that they’re torn down. The poppies are destroyed in the harvest by the farmers, and the other poppies are destroyed – knocked back down to size by a harvest of … jealousy or incredulity or cynicism… I’m not a psychologist and I’ve never really got my head around why people actually do this anyway: but it’s a strange human phenomenon, this so-called ‘tall poppy syndrome’. But one sad element arising from it can be found in a comment made to me a long while back when I was working for a family caring for two young teenage girls: they were great – fun, pretty, kind and clever but…. One of them was talking about her school work: she said she knew she could do better, a lot better in fact, but did what she needed to in order to be in the middle – she didn’t want to be top of the class: she didn’t want to ‘stand out’ - that way led to bullying. …If you stand out, expect rejection.

Tall poppies. ‘Tall poppy syndrome’. Jesus knew what it was to be a tall poppy – to be different, to be acclaimed … to be rejected. In our passage from the gospel of Mark this morning, we get a glimpse of tall poppy syndrome unfolding in Nazareth, where Jesus and the disciples have arrived. Nazareth: Jesus’ hometown. He is once again amongst family, friends – a warm, safe space of welcome. The homecoming of the local boy ‘done good’. Except that this homecoming is not as welcoming, not as warm, and perhaps not even as safe a space as Jesus and the disciples may have wished for.

As seemed to be his usual practice, Jesus went into the synagogue on the sabbath, and he began to teach. The crowd – people who had grown up with him, people who had known him all his life… were astonished. You can almost see them looking at Jesus and then at each other, eyes slightly popping out of their sockets in surprise. Wow! Gosh! Now there’s a thing! And then the questions begin… But how? But why?... But… hang on just a darned minute! …And then the statements, the labels, the rationalisations… but this is Mary’s kid – yeah – y’know, Mary’s kid – not sure about Joseph, y’know what I mean? Who does he think he is, anyway? Well, I reckon he has some cheek to stand up there and tell us how we should live our lives… ha… he can talk – instead of wandering about the countryside he should be at home taking his family responsibilities seriously. Illegitimate… Irresponsible…

Seemingly, there was a lot of offended muttering, amidst the sound of feathers being well and truly ruffled.

And Jesus looked at them, and he, in turn was astonished… astonished at their unbelief… and spoke of prophets not being recognised, not being honoured in their home town and that it had ever been that way in Israel’s history. If you stand out, expect rejection…

And, taking the disciples, he quietly wandered off to other villages teaching wherever he went. And then sent the disciples out in pairs… they were to stick their heads above the parapet… they were to talk about the good news of the message of God… and in doing so, to stand out and to be rejected… like tall poppies.

Tall poppies. Prophets – proclaimers …and I don’t mean the Scottish band of that name! People with a message… Tall poppies make us uncomfortable … Down through the ages prophets have had a bit of a reputation for being a bit odd, a bit prickly, a bit challenging.

And the message of Jesus was challenging: so challenging that the folks in Nazareth took offence – my Greek is pretty awful, but the work here for offence is skandalon – from where we get our English word ‘scandal’. Jesus literally scandalised them with his message… which was to go out and proclaim the reign of God… regardless of cost to self, regardless of the bonds of family ties… to live the message by engaging in healings and exorcisms, and by setting the oppressed free. To be bearers of the good news of the breaking in of God’s reign both in word and deed. To be and bear good news for the poor even if it meant leaving all you’d ever known in order to proclaim it. (1)

Jesus was challenging the very structure of society, and community, and family. Saying uncomfortable things to those who thought of themselves as chosen, as special… who looked out at the world and perhaps felt they were a cut above the rest, a little bit better, and who because of that, perhaps imagined God’s love being available only to … them. And Jesus was turning that idea on its head. He was scandalising them by saying God’s love went beyond their boundaries – that they couldn’t ring-fence God in and keep God for themselves. And in response, society, community, and even family rejected the message. It was just too much.

And the message of Jesus is still challenging… and still scandalous… because the message of the breaking in of God’s reign is one which overturns the whole way society currently functions… the scandal of the message is that it proclaims the breaking down of systemic structures of power that reek and creak and which are rotten to the core… it is a message of liberation of the oppressed… it is the message that there is another, better way: it is the message of love – God’s love for the world and humanity; our love for our neighbour… and for ourselves – which goes beyond, which goes deeper even than the way we understand family ties... in one sense, it enlarges family to include the whole of humanity and creation… The scandal of the message is about love – love that doesn’t create a fence in order to keep people out… but love that breaks down the fence… a radically inclusive love which liberates all of us... taking us beyond our boundaries and way of being. And it’s the message, as Jesus’ followers, that we are to proclaim… and in doing so, to expect rejection… to be cut down, like tall poppies.

Tall poppies: we come back, full circle… who are the prophets in our midst, I wonder? I suspect that Prophets come in many shapes and sizes and ages… Do we listen to the message? And does the message offend us – scandalise us? When we reject certain people… on the grounds of colour or age or gender or orientation… does that rejection – that exclusion from the community of God’s people – become our version of not honouring folk as potential prophets in our midst? Do we ring-fence God’s love to keep God for ourselves… to keep God in and everyone who we don’t like… out? And if we do so, do we end up closing ourselves off from new thoughts, ideas, ways of doing things… which might open us and the community we are a part of to new and exciting possibilities?

Tall poppies… poppies are usually associated with Remembrance Sunday… Maybe though, poppies in the context of our bible text this morning provide us with another kind of remembering: poppies seem to pop up all over the place – whether in golden barley fields, or in cracks in the pavements, or in the Botanics… perhaps, when we wander past a patch of poppies they might also serve to remind us to honour the prophets who are in our midst… and not cut them down… and to keep open to the scandal of God’s big love – which no amount of ring-fencing can contain.

Consider the poppies of the field …

Their seeds stir beneath the wasted soil,

Moving, reaching upwards, breaking out and rising

Rising towards the sun.

Consider the poppies of the field,

scattered red amidst the swaying, golden barley,

Tall, red, bold: prophets -

Singing songs of praise to the Holy One. Amen

---

(1) Bill Loader - http://wwwstaff.murdoch.edu.au/~loader/MkPentecost5.htm

jump on in and mind the crocodiles

Locum begins tomorrow.

Keys and church mobile duly handed over.

Funeral already booked in for Thursday and visiting next of kin tomorrow.
Another funeral looming.
Did I really want a gentle easing in?
Nothing like jumping out of the starting blocks with a 'bang'!
Guess I've often found the best learning curves are often those where you've just had to jump in and swim like fury.
Actually, come to think of it, that the way I did learn to swim when I was a kid - I just jumped in.
Hmmm, the more things change, the more they really do stay the same.

Dissertation countdown:
seven weeks to go.

Just ...
keep...
breathing.
And avoid bungee jumping onto crocodiles.

'leafy suburbs' and lections

On Friday, 12.30pm, a small rite will take place: ceremonial handing over of church keys and church phone. I start locum in 'leafy parish in the burgh' on Monday - poor blighters. Looking forward to it... although I do hope the Minister has a church to come back to.
Not so sure I'm looking forward to trying to finish my Master's diss at the same time however, but nothing like a wee challenge!

The first lesson already learned: double-check the lectionary readings when you decide to go slightly 'off' lections. Having drafted my worship planner for 2 months, I realised there were several Sundays around food and bread and decided to leap off lection for the 19th. Was aiming to use the omitted bit from Mark for that Sunday, which was Jesus walking on water. Sermon title and outline for worship sorted. Except the following Sunday, I shall not be conducting worship as it's an ordination anniversary celebration. Lovely celebrating anniversary minister will be using the lections of course... including John... which is the story of Jesus walking on water. Ahhhhh.
Note to self, remember to check the small details!
Other note to self, stick with the allotted lections!
It reminds me a wee bit of the church noticeboard advertising Sunday services:
Sunday morning sermon - 'Jesus walks on water'
Sunday evening sermon - 'Looking for Jesus'

I shall be looking for Jesus on the 19th, but probably not near any water....

Friday Five... Life is a verb

This week's Friday challenge from RevGalBlogPals site : Life is a verb...
From the book of that name.

1. What awakens you to the present moment?
The dulcet tones of Sarah Kennedy on Radio 2, Mon- Fri. The not-as-dulcet tones of DIY from my upstairs neighbour on weekends - although he is wonderful, I hasten to add!!

2. What are 5 things you see out your window right now?
I'm in the research lab, at my desk and the window to the outside world is never, ever cleaned by the university. 5 things perhaps a wee bit ambitious:

sunlight hitting the dust on the window;
styrofoam coffee cup on the window sill;
a smoking, mobile-phone using postgrad - owner of said coffee cup;
more smokers - kitchen staff from the Witchery across the road who use the wynd as a place for fag-breaks;
a tour bus on it's way back down the Royal Mile from having deposited tourists at the Castle [lab is tucked out of site about 50 yards from the Castle entrance];

Hmmm, it's not really inspiring, is it? We do get tour groups coming into the wynd to be told a story about the Covenanters and some random woman sings 'When I Survey the Wondrous Cross' - this at about 3pm. It is rather odd to see tourists so excitedly taking photos in what is, essentially a dead end, small car park filled with cigarette butts....

3. Which verbs describe your experience of God? forget, remember, wonder, listen, chat, puzzle, [repeat cycle ad nauseum]

4. From the book on p. 197:
Who were you when you were 13? Where did that kid go?
Grotty but nice junior high school kid who danced in her bedroom to ABBA and played copious amounts of tennis. She's in there somewhere, having travelled from Australia to Scotland with me... and ABBA is still occasionally danced to!

5. From the book on p. 88:
If your work were the answer to a question, what would the question be?
What processes of restitution and reconcilation are found in Knox's Order of Excommunication, 1569, and am I losing the will to live and even care?

Ordinary 12 Yr B: sermon - 'Stormy Weather' - Mark 4: 35-41

Several summers ago, the Times newspaper carried the following story:
A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented 'this sort of thing is all too common.'
Given the gospel reading, this story conjured up some very odd images in my mind as I contemplated the disciples in the boat on the stormy sea...watching all sorts of odd inflatable objects - teeth and lobsters included - pass them by.

I used to sail a lot when I lived in Australia, but thankfully never encountered the kind of storm that the disciples were hit with when crossing the Sea of Galilee. And what is really striking in the story is that these were tough men, several of whom were experienced sailors, fishermen who made their living from the sea. And they were terrified... which just emphasises the absolute severity of the storm that they were faced with.
The other striking thing about the story?
In the midst of the raging storm, the howling gale, the lashing of the waves and the boat being thrown about like a wee matchbox...
is that at the other end of the boat Jesus is sound asleep, totally oblivious to what's going on. While physically he's there with them, in every way that counts it seems that he's not.

It had all been so very different just hours earlier. Jesus and the disciples had been surrounded by eager crowds - so many in fact that Jesus had hopped in the boat and was teaching from it. He told them parables: stories about a sower sowing seed, lamps and bushels, mustard seeds. The crowd was receptive, it had been a good day and as day had crept into evening, he said to the disciples 'let's cross over to the other side.' They sailed away from the shore, from the crowds, and, as Jesus - exhausted from his teaching, exhausted from the crowd's demands - sailed into the land of Nod, the boat sailed into a sudden and unexpected storm.

Within the space of a few hours, it felt as if the disciples' world had turned upside-down. They had been happily chuntering along, things had been going along nicely, smoothly and now... quite literally, they felt swamped and all at sea and scared.
And so, they woke Jesus up... Jesus who had managed to sleep so soundly in the midst of the turmoil that it made the disciples feel even more afraid and abandoned and alone.
They woke him up, and you can almost hear them yelling at him in their fear:
'Teacher, don't you care? Don't you care that we're about to die?!'

They'd done everything that they knew how to do to weather the storm. They were at the end of the resources; at the end of their rope. They'd learned, as they had walked with Jesus, that he had extraordinary powers and abilities. They'd seen his heart of caring compassion. And here, on what felt like the worst night of their lives, they looked to the person they exptected to help them...
and Jesus was sound asleep.
'Don't you care that we're about to die?'

Sometimes in our own lives we find ourselves chuntering on quite happily in the normal, cheery, humdrum routine of our lives. And then something out of the ordinary happens that completely shakes our very lives to their foundations:
the job we thought secure disappears because of the credit crunch;
a sudden illness occurs;
a relationship or friendship founders through a misunderstanding, or because of some ill-judged words;
we grieve the death of someone we love....
So many unexpected things that come like storms in our lives, creating chaos, causing confusion... and like the disciples we can feel scared, and abandoned, and alone... as if Jesus is asleep at the back of the boat, while we're in turmoil.
And in the same way that the disciples did, we find ourselves almost yelling:
'don't you care Lord?'
and we might add:
'are you so indifferent to all this mess, this stress, this pain, that you can sleep right through it?'

And yet, while the disciples felt - and while we might feel abandoned by God's seeming indifference...
we ... are... not.
We cry out 'don't you care, Lord?' and perhaps find the answer to our question, our heart's cry as we remember parables:
the parable of the mustard seed and resting in the shelter of God;
the parable of the sower and God's abundant, extravagant love...
We're reminded that God loves us beyond our wildest imaginings, that God's love is everywhere, ever-present - even in the midst of the worst of storms.
And... it's absolutely okay to cry out to God - and even shake our fist.
Like the disciples, when we cry out to God, we're doing exactly the right thing. In fact, God invites us to cry out:
we're told to ask, to seek, to knock... to pound on the door of heaven.

Paradoxically, even though Jesus rebukes the disciples for lack of faith, the very act of crying out demonstrates that somewhere, deep in the core of those who cry out is enough faith to know that they - that we - will be listened to.
I wonder if underlying the rebuke is more a question of:
'why didn't you ask me first?'
'why did you try to do everything you could under your own strength... and only when everything else had failed, call me? Last...!'
You can almost see the disciples as the waves break in and the storm is furious. They do the one thing that is left to do.
They'd done everything else...
they finally get Jesus involved - they cry out.

And we cry out... and sometimes I wonder if that sense of abandonment by God is more due to our own habit of just getting on with things, and forgetting to ask God in the first place... not quite seeing that God's in the boat?
As the disciples, and as we find ourselves in the places of storm and tempest we cry out to God: 'don't you care, Lord?'
And as we do, we find out that the God who we thought was absent, or asleep, has actually been there with us all along,
right in the midst of the storm,
right there in our boat, wide awake,
right there hearing our cries,
right there feeling our pain...
and even though he knows we're sometimes so very slow to understand just who he is, and that his love is both abundant and ever-present...
in the midst of the turmoil, in the midst of the storm,
Jesus, the storm-stiller, the peace-bringer, brings us to a place of calm and gets us through the storm and across to the other side.

The disciples woke Jesus saying 'don't you care that we're about to die?'
And in response, Jesus got up and said three things:
to the wind: 'be quiet'...
to the waves: 'be still'...
and then, to the disciples: 'why are you frightened? Have you still no faith?'
And then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
And the result?
They were all relieved, had a good laugh, and sailed to the other side singing a cheerful song....
Well, that's what might have happened if the story had been re-written as a Hollywood movie - but we know that's not what happened.
The result, according to our writer, is that the disciples were still terrified, but now not of the storm. The disciples were terrified and they asked each other:
'Who is this? Even the wind and waves obey him.'

Having cried out to Jesus and expected him to do something, Jesus indeed does do something:
something so utterly unexpected, so utterly astonishing, that they are forced once again in their journey to think again about this man they are following.

Much of the turmoil in our lives isn't simply the turmoil from outer circumstances, it's the turmoil that churns within us, tearing us apart. We cry out to God and then, to our astonishment, we discover that God comes. In fact, that God is already here. God is not absent, but present, and God speaks to the storm that is within our turbulent and tossed spirits.
God, who knows our cry, knows what it means to be in a boat swamped by the storm, and yet has the power to give peace and strength and help even in the midst of such incredibly difficult, very scary circumstances. The disciples cried out for peace and God, made flesh in Jesus, met them at their point of need.
And as we cry out to God, God meets us at our point of need as well, because God is right here in the middle of all our need, our despair, our pain, our chaos, our fear.

The disciples - who knew what a storm was like - watched Jesus answer their cry... and knew that they were in way over their heads.
'Who is this?'
And it was to be a question they would find themselves asking again and again and again as they journeyed with him... thinking they knew him, thinking they had his measure, until something extraordinary would happen along the way to teach them that they were on a life-journey of discovering who this Jesus was.

Again and again, as the disciples, and as we, continure to follow Jesus, part of the ongoing, unfolding discovery is that we are following no ordinary man.

And in a post-script to the story, thinking about that earlier story from the Times - in my mind's eye I can almost see the small boat sailing across the now becalmed sea, to the other side, and Jesus quietly smiling to himself, as he watches various inflatable teeth and lobsters floating gently by....
...

the PROJECT2: go! you know you want to...

There's not been humungous lots of time to publicise what is looking like a pretty darned marvellous happening this coming Saturday. Nevertheless, drop everything and go, go, go if you can to:
thePROJECT2: In The Flesh
not an old Blondie song, but a small but perfectly formed wee festival of arts, music, liturgy, thinking/ discussion space and emergent knitting. And if that doesn't work for you, how about a 'scratch' Mary Poppins? Below is just a sampler of wot's on offer:

'10 Things They Never Told Me About Jesus.' John L. Bell explores facets of the personal life, relationships and ministry of Jesus which are seldom the stuff of preaching or conversation...

'Comusicka' - Jane Bentley began her musical journey whilst doing a three year stint with the Iona Community, discovering that, for her, it was more fulfilling to do music with, rather than for people

A seed… or a weed? Stewart Cutler is leading a workshop called - A seed…or a weed. Apparently the kingdom of God is like a seed… or a weed or something. So who’s planting? And what’s sprouting and growing and developing and emerging around Scotland?

Alternative futures - how art can capture the imagination? Beki Bateson is leading a workshop called - Alternative Futures, how art can capture the imagination. Walter Brueggemann suggests
“Every totalitarian regime is frightened of the artist. It is the vocation of the prophet to keep alive the ministry of the imagination. Beki Bateson is Festival Director of Greenbelt Festivals and Chair of the Amos Trust - a human rights charity nurturing local responses to injustice.

Andrew Philip - Described by Michael Symmons Roberts and Ambit magazine as a poet to watch, Andrew Philip was chosen by the Scottish Poetry Library as a “New Voice” in 2006. His chapbook, Tonguefire, was published by HappenStance Press in 2005, followed by Andrew Philip: A Sampler in 2008. His poetry has appeared in various publications

Also...
Jake Tatton - Jake Tatton, is many things, artist, minister, vagabond. Jake has been an ordained minister for the Metropolitan Community Church since 2006 and is currently pursuing a Masters of Ministry Degree at New College, University of Edinburgh. An active and out member of Scotland’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, Jake continues to work with young people

Iain Archer

We See Lights

FISCHY MUSIC

Rob MacKenzie

Andrew Phillip

Doug Gay

Salvation Savings??!!

And so, after a lovely day of lunching, then surprise afternoon tea, then surprise dinner... I arrived home to find in my letter box this promise in big, bold lettering: 'Salvation Savings'...
Marvellous, I thought, wondering if there might be a BOGOF offer: get one salvation, get another free. Sort of like a get out of jail free card but with an eternal context?
Well, given my student status, I thought this a potentially viable idea and yet the words of good old Dietrich Bonhoeffer did keep popping up in my head and worrying away at the stupendous deal on offer: 'Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.'
'Costly grace confronts us as a gracious call to follow Jesus, it comes as a word of forgiveness to the broken spirit and the contrite heart. It is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him; it is grace because Jesus says: "My yoke is easy and my burden is light.'

I looked more closely at the piece of paper in my hand, offering me deals on salvation... Pizza Hut special offer in conjuntion with the new Terminator movie, apparently. Not sure if the 'moral' of the story is to avoid cheap pizza, but... like lunch, afternoon tea and dinner today, salvation's free: Now there's a special offer! :)

the welcoming church welcomes you, sorta

An excellent day yesterday visiting, and later lunching with, 'Stockarees'. Am really looking forward to filling in there while Anne's away in July and August.
Bumped into a pal at church who was on a 'checking it out' mission. Later on that day we were having a blether about her experience of the church welcome. The Stockarees got an overwhelmingly positive response from friend.... I suspect in part because their kitchen is definitely not like this one!!!!!


------------------------------------------------------>     [cartoon by Dave Walker]